I Gave My Kids Psychedelics
Rites of Passage
You may think me crazy, but I took my family to Costa Rica for an ayahuasca journey.
As you know, I prefer Rites of Passage over parties.
The summer my kids turned 16, 13, and 13 (twins), for example, I gifted them their own personal mantra and Primordial Sound Course. A party may have been more fun at the moment, but they'll have their personal mantra for life.
To celebrate one graduation, we did a sound bath together. We held crystals and received reiki as the singing bowls cast their spell upon us.
When our oldest son turned 18, my husband and I took him on a trip to Sedona to mark the occasion. We did breath and bodywork both individually and together. We still talk about it to this day.
This past summer, my kids turned 21 and 18, 18. I took them on an ayahuasca journey—but not for the reasons you may think.
What is Ayahuasca?*
Technically, ayahuasca is a drink made from the vines and leaves of particular shrubs local to the Amazonian basin. For thousands of years, the area’s indigenous cultures have used it as an integral part of their spiritual ceremonies.
Trained ayahuasceros carefully select the plants and brew them down into a thick liquid that in essence becomes a condensed form of Mother Nature. One drinks ayahuasca just as much to connect deeply with our Earth as for the insightful visions it can produce—more on these in a minute.
What Ayahuasca is Not
Ayahuasca is not a bucket-list item. As plant medicines become more popular, greater numbers of people are excited to seek out this experience—almost a bragging right or a box to check.
In response, self-proclaimed “shamans” are stepping up to cash in on this new demand despite their lack of knowledge, experience, or reverence to the plant or deep ceremonial traditions.
They may have attended a ceremony or a few, then say they are a shaman and offer their services. I have seen this with people who put out their psychic shingle after reading a book or completing a weekend course. It takes extensive training, discipline, and experience to be able to keep appropriate energetic boundaries.
Education and Integration Are Critical
I researched and planned for this Rite of Passage for almost three years. Since education prior to and integration after an ayahuasca journey are just as (if not more) important as the actual ceremony, I chose a place that also emphasized these aspects as a key part of their offering.
I also wanted safety to be taken seriously since one of my children has life-threatening allergies. I had read about people not only having bad "trips" on the medicine but reactions—in some cases without the shaman being able to handle the severity of the situation.**
OK, now that logistics are out of the way…
Why I Wanted My Children to Experience Ayahuasca
Initially, my goal was to counter the normalization of psychedelics as a party high. I wanted my kids to:
understand the importance of set and setting
experience ayahuasca within the container of a sacred ceremony
learn from shamans who revere ayahuasca's inherent intelligence and respect the thousand-year ceremonial traditions
In hindsight, these goals proved just how limited my understanding was of the full ayahuasca experience.
The Real Reason I Gave My Kids (and Husband!) the Opportunity to Experience Ayahuasca
It took me years of inner work to go from forcing myself to meditate to wanting to meditate. It was when my inner screen became more interesting than any external screen that I started to experience expanded consciousness regularly—further inspiring me to continue and thus creating a positive feedback loop.
But I was highly motivated to continue meditating in the beginning, even when I didn’t feel the positive benefits because I wanted to be a good psychic! I can only do meaningful work when I am a clear channel, and I need mediation to keep my energy clear.
My husband and kids, however, are just regular people - busy with work, school, and just life. I wanted to give them a sneak peek into what's beyond their physical reality.
I have told them all about the benefits of meditation, mindfulness, consciousness, and all things metaphysics. I have exposed them to meditation over the years, but none of them have developed a regular practice. I could continue to prod, encourage, and entice, but parental pressure can also be a turnoff.
Since the benefits of meditation aren’t typically felt immediately, I hoped ayahuasca would jumpstart their curiosity about their inner world because it’s such a mind-opening experience.
How Ayahuasca Impacted My Family
While the tone of this post may feel somber, our experience was profound and positive beyond words. Each of us experienced the medicine differently, but we all agree it was a defining moment in our lives.
Despite all my research, there was no way I could have predicted the intense spiritual insight, connection, and expanded consciousness we experienced.
"The Best Night of My Life"
Everyone's experience with ayahuasca is unique and can run the gamut anywhere from awful to amazing.
During one ceremony, for example, my husband wept for hours. It came out of nowhere. He didn’t understand it. The next morning he looked like a different person and told us, "that was the best night of my life!" He explained that he gained a new understanding about his relationship with our kids and me that he had not been open to before.
We met a young man who was on his second week. He'd arrived tense, angry, and scowling. During his first week, he'd opened just enough of a crack in his facade, he knew he wanted more. During our week together, he began to share openly, smile, and simply radiate—he even danced publicly for the first time in his life.
I realize these descriptions are vague. I am happy to attempt to write more in detail if there’s interest, but it's sort of like sharing a vivid dream. There's just no way for anyone else to know what it felt like to be there.
My own experiences, for example, would sound absolutely insane on paper. Yet, I am still moved beyond words and enjoy the afterglow all this time later. Let's just say my clairvoyant gifts have increased exponentially.
However, as my oldest son said on our last day, Mom, I think we each grew individually, but we also grew together as a family.
Why Do Ayahuasca?
Many have trekked to Central and South American jungles (or maybe just driven across town to an apartment in NYC, LA, or London) to check out the rumors of this "life-changing" plant medicine. But there’s no point in exploring ayahuasca if you're not willing to make lasting change.
Just as probable as puking, one is likely to experience lucidity at levels previously unknown. One shaman suggested that the "hallucinations" were more real than what we think of as "reality". However, without proper support and context, these can prove disorienting, sometimes even psychologically damaging.
Ayahuasca is Much More than Hallucinations
It’s not the visions or insight ayahuasca gives us that is so revolutionary; it's what we do with this new awareness that makes the difference!
How does our changed perception of reality impact our physical life?
How do we treat ourselves, others, our Earth?
What do we consume in terms of food, media, news, entertainment?
Where and with whom do we spend our time, energy, money?
What spiritual practices will we prioritize over profit and productivity?
It's common to leave an experience like this all fired up and super inspired to live in an “awakened” state, perhaps even make some major life changes. Often over time, however, the grind of daily life can wear that inspiration away leaving one to feel like another journey is required to get that zest back.
What's actually needed to sustain the impact of an ayahuasca experience is to integrate the insights through daily spiritual practices like meditation and mindfulness, and actively managing one's energy with tools such as grounding, centering, and clearing.
As the ups and downs of life happen, these practices help us stay open and neutral. We gain sovereignty over our well-being all from within, anytime and anywhere!
Validation from Shamans
Before and after every ceremony, the shaman would give a teaching. It may be about emotions, spirituality, consciousness, or integrating with nature, among other topics. I just smiled as I heard how their beliefs and traditions are so aligned with the work we do in the Ascended Presence Practicum.
Psychedelics Not Needed
Truth be told, no one needs psychedelics to experience altered states of consciousness. We all can achieve this awareness through meditation, communing with nature, lucid dreaming, and even breathwork.
In fact, arguably it’s better to achieve expanded consciousness by building up one's own inner skills since ripping open the portal can cause psychic trauma. This is another reason why education before and integration after a plant medicine ceremony is so critical.
However, if you feel like you’re up against a wall and feel you need an immediate way to peek through to the other side, ayahuasca can help.
Or perhaps you’ve lost your connection to our Mother Earth. Drinking a condensed form of her being via these medicinal plants will help you reconnect. But again, these realizations will be deeper and more meaningful when done within a proper set and setting.
Given this, I am curious....
Would you be interested in an ayahuasca retreat? I am considering leading a group of people who would be interested in an ayahuasca journey. We would have classes before and continued integration after. Let me know your thoughts and questions by filling out this survey. No commitment, just trying to gauge if there's enough interest for me to pursue this idea…
Conclusion
It’s impossible for one blog post to do justice to an experience like this. I'm happy to share more if there's interest, just let me know!
Notes
*Ayahuasca is currently illegal in the United States unless used in a religious context. DMT, an active ingredient in the plant, is a powerful hallucinogen that can cause extreme changes in perceptual awareness.
**While I truly believed my family would benefit from an ayahuasca journey, I didn't impose this experience upon either my kids or husband; I sought out each of their interest, willingness, and approval. We had many conversations about the difference between using psychedelics at a party vs. respecting their role in indigenous cultures for thousands of years. We continue to discuss as we integrate from our experience all these weeks later.
PS There are still a few days left to join the Practicum. You gain instant access to nine months of trainings and hands-on experience with energy, emotions, and expanding your consciousness.
This experience was literally one of the most stressful of my life! And that is saying a LOT given I’d already overcome years of infertility trying to get these amazing kids, survived cancer while completing grad school, and moved internationally three times in two years.