Last week I shared why it’s important to actively manage our energy during big life transitions – specifically when sending a child off for college. I dedicate this week’s post to those of you with high school juniors and seniors hoping to support yourself or your child during the daunting college preparation and application process since you’re in the midst of this right now!

Before we proceed, I acknowledge going to college is a privilege not available to all. For those who are not going down the college path, the same principles apply, so I hope you’ll continue exploring below through the lens of your personal choices.

A Real-Life Hogwarts

Like Hogwarts is to aspiring wizards, the entire college-seeking experience is an excellent training ground for us to hone our energy management skills. Luckily, we don’t need to be wizards or psychics to partake. The only pre-requisites are your desire and determination to keep the big picture in mind, aka, your spiritual perspective!

The first step is to understand the difference between what we’re told we should worry about verses what’s truly important.

Societal Programming vs. Spiritual Perspective

Below are some examples of different mindsets to the college prep process.

Society tells you to:

• Select “impressive” extra-curricular activities or high school classes

• Only consider “brand” named colleges

• Base your self-worth on your SAT/ACT score or GPA (or later, a school’s acceptance)

• Compare yourself to where your friends are going

• Hoard information about scholarships or opportunities

• Look down upon kids who are not going to college

• Stress and future-trip over every stage in the college-seeking process

• Believe there is a “best” school and getting into it is critical because it will impact the rest of your life

Your higher-self tells you to:

• Select extra-curricular activities and high school classes you’re truly interested in

• Find schools that are a good fit for YOU!

• Know you're worthy just because you exist

• Be excited for everyone who gets the amazing opportunity to go to college

• Share tips and resources with others

• Believe every person is on their own unique path and there’s no right or wrong choice

• Trust you’ll do your best and will have many learning opportunities throughout the process

• Believe you are divinely supported and guided toward the best opportunity for your soul

What does a spiritual perspective look like in real life?

I’ll share a personal example:

Rewind back to the summer of 2021 when my daughter and I were on an east coast college tour. I remember standing outside the admissions office of one of those small, elite private schools along with dozens of other prospective students and families. The tension in the air was palpable!

As the tour commenced, parents peppered the student tour guide with questions – about the application process, acceptance rates, availability of classes and majors, quality of professors and campus food, size of classes and dorm rooms, campus safety, and on and on...

The questions themselves were fine; it was just the energy underneath them was laced with anxiety.

The reason I noticed this tension was because just moments earlier, while we were waiting in the morning sun for the tour to begin, my whole body filled with love and gratitude for that moment; my heart felt like it would burst from all the joy!

How Presence Counters Anxiety

Because I was hyper present in the moment, I could recognize the incredible experience I was having.

I remember thinking, “Wow, Susan, this is amazing! You are on a school tour, on the other side of the country, with your daughter, and we’re having a good time!” I felt like the luckiest person in the world!

I recalled my fraught relationship with my own mother when I was my daughter’s age. I couldn’t have imagined going on a road trip with her, much less enjoying it — even if we’d had the money or foresight to do such an expedition.

In the present moment, while waiting for the tour, I was overwhelmed with gratitude for my blessings. I honestly could not have cared less about acceptance rates, class availability, on- or off-campus housing — or any other worry.

Conversely, had I been out in the future…

• worried if my daughter had done all the “right” things to be accepted into this fine school

• competitive with all the other capable kids and parents

• stressed about how whichever school she would ultimately attend would impact the rest of her life (making it feel so important!)

…I naturally would have been as anxious as most of the other parents on the tour.

Now, please don’t read this as my being righteous or self-aggrandizing. Trust me, I have moments when I’m sucked down into the matrix muck as much as the next mother.

I share this special moment because I drew on this memory time and time again over the ensuing college application months to remind me when — we succumb to societal programming, aka the matrix, it’s typically a stressful experience for everyone involved.

It’s so easy to get caught up in our ego and forget not only our own soul, but that of our child’s. If we choose to extract ourselves from societal pressures and be present, however, we can create more harmony and deeper relationships with our children (and all relationships) as a result.

Positive Thinking vs Active Energy Management

Looking for the silver lining in a situation is a great first step, but it’s not enough to change your physiology during especially intense times. We want to actually move distressing energy out of our bodies so we can bring in those emotions that will help us come back to equilibrium.

When we work with energy, we remind ourselves that we are spiritual beings. Our spiritual perspective gives us the strength to follow our own path, not the one society says is the right or best path — be that for college or anything else in life!

Conclusion – How Presence Helps

Presence equals peace. Presence makes it easier for us to recognize and then release worry from the past or future, which creates the space for gratitude to enter.

If you find yourself stressing about any part of the pre-college marathon, (or any other identity shifting experience) remember to bring your attention back to the present moment.

You’ll not only enjoy the experience much more (and so will everyone else involved), but you’ll gain the courage to choose what works best for you regardless of what others say.  

You may feel stuck in your current situation, unclear and frustrated. If this sounds like you, intuitive life coaching might be the right for you. Book a clairvoyant reading to help unlock the next steps for you.

PS If you’re a student reading this, feel free to share this message with your stressed-out parents:) Also, we have other teens in the Practicum who felt the tools they learned last year supported them when they were in your shoes.