Are you as disoriented as I am that the American Thanksgiving holiday is just 10 days away? My sense of time is completely outta whack! In some ways, I still feel stuck back in March.

Cards, Cigarettes, Chips

Thanksgiving was always my favorite holiday as a kid. Our large extended family would gather for a day of cooking and camaraderie. I can still see my grandma and aunts gathered around the kitchen table as they played canasta, surrounded by smoke from the cigarettes they clutched with equal effort as their cards—a tray of pickles and olives, a bowl of potato chips and onion dip nearby.

It was hard for me when my family and I first broke up with the old Thanksgiving traditions. Several years ago, we decided we no longer wanted to eat animals. That part was easy. It was much harder dealing with the sentimentality I had for Thanksgivings past and anxiety that my own children would not have “proper” and warm childhood memories of their own.

Rest assured this post is not about the ethics of eating animals. It’s about developing sovereignty over our thoughts, beliefs, and emotions.

For example, it would have been easier to stuff down my unease and fake a grin because that’s what “good” moms do—make holidays “happy.”

Paying Attention in Order to Heal

Instead, I noticed the emotions, felt them, and looked behind them. That process allowed me to release my nostalgia (through grounding), not only for Thanksgivings past, but my own expectations of what I thought I believed they should “look” and be like in the present.

After several sessions, I had transmuted enough that my smile and excitement for our new family traditions was not only genuine, but exponentially more heart-expanding!

Who Knew?

But there’s always room for more awakening. For example, while we were creating a new plant-based dinner tradition, we were still celebrating the old “Thanksgiving”—you know the one where the Native Americans welcomed the Pilgrims with smiles and open arms filled with food to celebrate an abundant harvest.

We were oblivious to the Thanksgiving lore programming we’d received as this New York Times article describes. The truth is that Thanksgiving represents the horrific genocide of Indigenous peoples and the theft of their land. In present day, it means the killing of tens of millions of turkeys that have been bred to grow such large breasts that they can’t walk on their own legs and live lives of immense suffering before their ultimate slaughter.

Did I Lose You?

Yeah, I know I may lose readers after this post. Why is she being such a downer?! We deserve a nice holiday for crying out loud, this year of all years!

For sure, it’s easier and more fun to follow societal norms, to be included in the community rather than forced outside, to just go through the motions of life—one season, school year, and holiday to the next.

I’m not saying, however, that we have to shun Thanksgiving. There’s a LOT for which to be thankful and that’s worth celebrating!

Let’s just use this as an opportunity to increase our consciousness. We can educate ourselves about its origins. We can tune into our bodies and notice the feelings that come up when we’re with our family or missing them due to quarantine.

We can ask ourselves…

What aspect of Thanksgiving do I enjoy and want to keep?

What would I like to change?

Am I brave enough to do things differently than the norm?

Am I willing to question the food we serve?

What emotions have I felt during past Thanksgivings?

How do I want to feel this year?

What am I willing to release or do to heal so that I may have the Thanksgiving that I desire?

Our New Traditions

We’ve done pre-dawn hikes, starting in the pitch black with flashlights and celebrating at the top with hot chocolate as the sun crests over the mountains to the east. We do our first gratitude go around surrounded by nature and the chirping of birds and insects.

We’ve taken afternoon beach walks with our dog frolicking in the waves. This might not seem revolutionary, but when I was growing up, we never left the house (or football on the TV) on Thanksgiving, so it felt weird the first time I did as an adult. I’m telling you these things are so unconscious we don’t even realize how deeply ingrained they are.

We’ve researched, planned, and cooked new and delicious plant-based dishes for our feast with everyone participating. When I was a kid, my dad and uncles watched football and carved the turkey while the women cooked, set the table, and cleaned up—this was a tradition I definitely wanted to change!

We created a new, more mindful and thoughtful Blessing over our meal.

But mostly, we hope for cool enough weather to sit around the fireplace and play board games (our favorites are Catan, Ticket to Ride, Risk, Spot It, and Blokus).

Gratitude Ground Rules

The highlight for me is always when we gather round and talk about our gratitudes. The basic ground rules are you can add to someone else’s, but you can’t copy—otherwise everyone would just say our dog, haha! We’ll do several rounds with different themes such as:

What is something you’re grateful to have learned?

What is one thing you’re grateful to have done or not done?

What is something you are surprised that you are grateful for, maybe it didn’t seem like a blessing at the time?

What is something physical, emotional, and spiritual you are grateful for?

We always include a round where everyone says what they are grateful for about each member of our family—again, no duplicates!

Why Does Energy Work Matter?

I am fortunate that my Swedish husband has zero childhood baggage around Thanksgiving since he did not grow up with it so all the inner work around this holiday has been mine.

While I will miss my family and Thanksgiving this year as I am still in Sweden, I have already processed all the nostalgia making it easier than if I were still holding on to my childhood memories and expectations.

This is why I LOVE this work! It’s freedom epitomized!

I’m grateful to you for your willingness to learn and grow and heal, too! That’s how we make a difference--not only in our own lives, but in the lives of our loved ones and ultimately the collective. This short clip from the Reverend Michael Beckwith sums it up beautifully!

Let me know if I can support you as we prepare for the holiday season. Or if you have a special loved one, Gift Cards are available, too!